Page 2 of comments on ask dr-robert: Help! I Am Obsessed With My Ex-Boyfriend.
by dr-robert
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It is helpful to know someone else is having the same problem I am. I too believe I am OCD, but I do not have the symptoms of washing hands, instead I am obsessed over an ex-boyfriend. I am married with two children, and have not seen this ex in 9 years. It is so random that he has suddenly appeared in my head. I can't seem to get him out, and I also have spent many hours online just looking up his name and address. I have recently started on Zoloft and a psychologist, but I am glad to know that another person is having the same symptoms. It helps to not be alone.This is exactly my story!!! The same amount of years and everything. I even have a son with his name although that was my daughter and my husband. I had NOTHING to do with that. That is when I started thinking of him again. Then I found out that my "best friend" lied about some things that ended my relationship with him. I even looked up his ex who has his daughter just to see him in her. I am such a sad person.
about 2 years ago i started taking zoloft for ocd. i stopped taking it a few months after. i learned to control my behavior mostly through meditation. (its weird but it works) now i just get obsessed with people. EX's . Im going to seek medical help. but its good to know im not the only one.
I am obsessed i believe with an ex as well. I am onl 17 but i have known this person my entire life. We have been friends and dated since I can remember. I thought he might be the one but he broke up with me but still wanted to remain friends. He has a new girlfriend who I have met and is a very nice person. At first I thought I was just jealous and my thoughts of him would just go away but they aren't. I think of him constantly and I call his phone just to hear his voice mail. When I am in his presence I feel relieved but when I am not I can't stop thinking of him and I need to hear his voice and look at his name. Is this just jealousy or is it ocd? Could someone tell me
hate to state the obvious but since your not married, why not see if he likes since he is in your class, you might see him for what he really is and stop liking him or perhaps you'll hit it off, see if he wants to grab a bite to eat after class
its been a year since my ex-boyfriend and i broke up(we were together 4 years). until today he hasn't called me. I was madly in love with him and i still haven't managed to forget him, its hard for me to date other people, i still think of him sometimes. But he really really hurt me, he was lying to me all the time, he really mess me up. i cried a whole month after we broke up. And now he's calling and telling me that he cant find a girl like me and wants to see me. I'm so confused, what should i do?Hi, did you get back?I'm kind of on the same boat. I see his profile on dating websites but for some stupid reason I cannot stop loving him. I hate this. I used to be so down to earth but then I fell in love with him and became pathetic and stupid. I hate being like this. I even asked him to marry me and he said no. That should've been the end of it, but I can't get him out of my head.I had a miscarriage whilst we were together, he didn't even call when it was the anniversary of it.I don't know how your ex has hurt you. Will you be able to trust him again?
I have the same situation! I'm sure I do have OCD. My ex boyfriend and I broke up a long time ago, like in october, but we saw each other in december, 5 months ago, he went to visit me for a night and stayed in a hotel. We stopped talking for a while and he called in valentines day. I would never stop talking to him until january when he didn't call for my birthday. Now we have since about 2 months without talking, and he's coming soon to town, but he said he doesnt want to get involved. I guess he's moved on. but i feel pathetic that i haven't, and i feel like I never will. I'm constantly checking to see if something's going on in his life and if he's dating anyone now. I feel really pathetic and stupid. We were together for almost 3 years and he was my first time, which was really important to me. I don't know what to do. I cant ever stop thinking about him and everywhere i look, i think of him. Its obvious he moved on, and Im only hurting myself. how can i get over this obsession?!
I can top them all. I've been on Zoloft for about 3 months for anxiety. I've had the vivid dreams and nightmares. Sometimes it felt like I could dream about what I wanted to. I had a couple of dreams about an old girlfriend. Wham! She's been on my mind day and night since then. I haven't seen or heard from her in 43 years! I don't know where she lives or anything about her. In reality I don't even know her any more. I've been married to for 38 years. I love my wife, she's done nothing wrong, yet I can't stop thinking of this other girl (woman now). I feel like I have to get in touch with her but I wouldn't know how and I'm pretty sure it would be a bad idea. I too have spent hours searching the internet. I can't ask anyone. I see no good outcome. The Zoloft is helping my anxiety but if it's either causing this I may have to give it up. I guess we're not alone but I'm not sure that helps. I imagine all sorts of things like she's in trouble and trying to contact me but I know that's just from watching too many movies.
I was with somebody for about 3 months back in 2005. It is now 2009, and I still think about this person! We haven't spoke for 4 years, and I just cant seem to get him out my mind. I have spent hours searching the web for him, in hopes of just finding one picture. I know this isn't normal but in my mind I want to be with him again and I'll almost do anything to re-live what we had, even though it was nothing serious. I'm not crazy, but I know I need some answers because I dont want to continue living this way.i had a bad breakup a year and a half ago from a girl that i was madley in love with.it ended very very sudenly and cruley yet i think of her every day,think whats shes doing and whatnot.i get so mad at myself that i cant move on and think about someone that cares nothing for me.it makes me feel like sush a loser,like my life is not even worth liveing.im at at my ropes end,im so unhappy.i just wish the pain would stop.Hi, I also have the same problem. I had a short relationship which lasted arround 3 months, which was very intense (at least for me) and I completely fell in love. Then he ended it, but he was extreamly nice and sweet and he explained why and answered every question I made. He also said he wanted to stay friends and I agreed, hoping that time will help him clear his mind and that there could be a second chance. Six months passed of being "only friends" in which I was constantly thinking about him and checking his profile online to see if he had found someone else. At some point I noticed he started to go out with someone and I felt terrible. I went to him and told him that I still had feelings for him. We got back together and 3 days after he broke up again saying he did not feel the way he should in order to have a relationship with me. And we agreed to be friends "again". Now I don't really know what else to do, I don't really want to lose him and I'm checking his profile online many times a day to see if he is dating. I know I have OCD and I'm taking Paxil already but I don't think pills will resolve the problem, I'm in love and at the same time obsessed. When he is arround for dinners or to hang out everything is ok as soon as he goes back home I feel terrible because I don't know when or if I will see him again and the thought that he might really has stoped feeling things for me really kills me. I have read and heard everywhere the sentence "you have to move on" like if there was a "move on button" to push and get out of the situation. It just doesn't happen and after reading other testimonials this could take years. It's interfearing with my daily life, at work, at the University and socially (I'm 25) I cry every night until I get very tired and eventually fall sleep and then after all efforts I make to get through the day, I realize that nothing really matters: school or work, I would change everything to be back with him and the truth is I'm lost without him :-(
Wow- I can't believe so many people have this problem, I am exactly the same. I had a very brief relationship in early 2008, it is now over a year since we last spoke, but I think about him ALL THE TIME. I look him up online every other day, I sometimes sms message him and generally behave like a crazy person, I sometimes cry. I absolutely hate being this way. He clearly does not want anything to do with me, but I just can't control my behaviour, I haven't text him in over 2 months now, which is the longest I have managed in over a year. I really need to get help with this, it's truly devastating. I have no idea how this happened to me...Hi Bets,Its comforting to know that someone else has the same intense feeling about their ex. I have his email address and I regularly log in to look. It hurts like crazy to know that he has moved on so easily into another loving relationship. I have even downloaded the photographs of the happy couple together in Spain. She is going to move in with him and I cant tell you what this knowledge is doing to me. I'm now unable to log into his email and this is probably a good thing but I feel that a "life line" has been cut off. . Its crazy! My stomach churns all the time and I'm always dwelling on the past and our wonderful memories. I know that with time the pain will ease but right now I am totally consumed by it all.
Wow. I feel everyone's pain. My 9 year relationship with my first serious boyfriend just ended in a devestating and unbelievable way. He left me for another girl and the way I found out that he was with her was by seeing them together. This girl had just moved to the area we lived and needed a place to stay, so I said it was ok for her to stay with us. I liked her and when I met her, I felt weird vibes like she was here to replace me and then some. After I found them together, my now ex boyfriend confessed to being unfaithful to me with at least 12 other girls (he's a musician and was away on tour alot) and having 3 emotional/sexual relationships on the side (like he was living a double life). I'm so devestated and feel used, lied to, betrayed and defeated. He is now literally living with this new girl 11 or 12 blocks away from me. I'm don't know why, but I can't stop dwelling on this nightmarish situation. He had years of knowing that he cheated and has moved in with this girl like within hours of me finding out. I felt swept up into a whirlpool of devestation. It's now been a month sense this mind blowing experience and somehow I still am able to function at work. But at home I'm alone, I'm paying two rents, and I'm looking at both their myspace pages obsessively. I've seen pictures of them, of his stuff in her apartment, etc and it's killing me. Why can't I stop doing this? I look in the mirror, and I feel so ugly and old (I'm 30 years old, and this new girl is 24). I found out he gave me STDs and as a result I'm infertile. Yet, I still have fond thoughts of this guy. wtf! 9 years is a long time to be with someone (all of my 20's) and I know I should move on. But I can't figure out what to move on to. I can't see a future anymore. I moved to another state the last year to try to revive the relationship and have lost touch with family and friends (and have had falling outs too). I feel deserted and like I'm waiting for him to come back. This is so crazy. HELP ME!wow, it sounds like he hurt you very much. with good reason you feel so devastated. just the infertility will remind you his sorry ass for the rest of your life. can't tell you what to do online, but your situation sounds traumatic. I recommend professional help at this point - moving away from your ex and his ho(s) is also something to consider. You need to learn how to respect yourself again. All those years of abuse are not going to magically go away, you're going to have to rebuild yourself from the inside out.good luck xxoo and happy holidays!
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